Our society trains us women to be quite, to play small, to be kind, to not stand in for our needs, for our rights, they teach us that it’s much better to please and play small instead of intimidating men with your own voice and story.
Why is this? I mean of course we could say in this world, in this 21 century it should really be different today. But although we can vote and speak and write – we sometimes still believe that we are unworthy and better should just shut up to make somebody like us.
It’s true I am privileged in many ways.
I am privileged to live in Switzerland and I am privileged to choose my own clothes and words and I am privileged to be raised as a woman, by a woman who knew her worth.
I was never caught in the thing to shut up because a man would speak.
I was never seen as not (enough) worthy because I’m a woman.
I was never dominated from a man- unless I choose to.
And although my childhood was pretty far from perfect,
I am thankful to the fact that I have seen my mother working.
I am thankful that I have seen my mother standing in for her own rights and beliefs.
I am thankful that I have seen her raising me (almost) on her own.
Because all this lead me to my belief-system. A belief-sytstem that a woman alone is worthy and capable to do all these things on her own with no need to ask for permition from a man or anyone else.
And because I believe more in leading by example than preaching stuff that I do not do myself I am here today for my daughter, for all the women in this world, especially for all the women who can’t speak and for absolutely everyone to tell you
YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU ARE WORTHY TO SPEAK. YOU HAVE A VOICE.
So go on today and look where you can lead an example for every woman in this world and speak your truth.
Tell him that you like him, but that you are afraid of closeness.
Tell him that you are afraid of sex and intimacy, because you have experienced lots of bad & ugly stuff.
Tell her that she shall stop treating you like a child, because today you are a grown-ass-woman who makes her own decisions.
Tell the man who eye-fucks you in the bus, that he makes you feel uncomfortable and that he better stop treating you like a piece of meat.
Tell him that you don’t feel comfortable when he drinks too much beer all night long.
Tell him that you want more wage, or at least as much as your male colleagues.
Tell him that you want to show him your own flaws, but that you need a bit more time.
Tell him that you want to grow together and start as friends if this is your truth.
Tell him that you don’t like anal sex, or tell him that you like it, whatever is your truth.
Tell him what you feel, that you’re scared to death because your ex-boyfriend treated you like a piece of shit and cheated on you with 30 other women.
Tell him how he shall touch you and how don’t.
Tell him that you need something for the eternity and that you won’t settle unsless you find the person who wants to do this with you.
Tell him that you want children, or that you don’t – whatever it is you feel. But don’t just agree to have children because he or society expects. Don’t just fake that you don’t want kids because he does not like to have some.
Tell him that you don’t want to marry if this is your truth.
Tell him that you wish to marry if this is it.
Tell him what exactly happened to you so he knows how to treat you right.
Tell him that you are hurt because of how he treated you in your childhood.
Start today in finding your voice. Start with something small. Make baby steps in to a life with a voice. With your voice! I did not always have an honest voice it’s true. I did not only used to fake orgasms – I used to fake whole relationships, because I wanted to keep the guy and make everyone else think that I look & feel good with him. This was more important to me than speaking and living my truth. Today I am as honest as I can be. Today I do tell everyone how I feel. And I want you to inspire in living your truth as well. Because if you do it, you might be a role model for another woman seeing you doing it all raw and according to your own truth.
What’s your truth? This is mine!
Lots of love,