If someone I truly love is alienating from me I can show you what this situation does to me. WARNING: Very personal stuff ;)!
Friend: I really want to go to explore the world. I need to see and feel so much more.
Adult me: Oh I totally get that. I wish you so much fun doing it. Enjoy the ride !
Child me: Oh you see. They go again. Just like your father left you, your mother never made time for you. Everybody who you truly love is moving out of your life. YOU ARE ALONE! ALL ALONE!
Hubby: I really want some time by myself. Just an hour or an evening.
Adult me: Oh honey I understand that. How can I support you?
Child me: OH MY GOODNESS! NOT YOU! Why are you leaving me alone love of my life? I don’t want to live without you. Ok maybe 5 minutes. Why don’t you want to be with me? I really can’t live without you. I am afraid. I don’t want to lose you!
Friend: I need some more time for myself. I can’t be online all day and I do not want. I want to soak this new adventure all in.
Adult me: Alright, I get that! Just wanted to say hi and asking how you feel?
Child me: Oh now not only a physical distance but an emotional too. I’m not going to let that happen. Please notice me! NOTICE ME! I’m HERE! Can you see me? I need you!
I used to have a boyfriend who wanted to go out almost every night. This was the most brutal thing for my inner child. I felt left and abandoned every night.
Crazy right? Also kind of funny if it’s not your personal stuff. How is your inner child? Have you also been able to freak out in „normal – casual situations“? I don’t want to present myself as a victim. I am truly not. It’s just to talk about this real stuff, the underneath-it-all. I see myself as a confident woman, but my inner child is in healing process.
Here’s something I love from Psychology Today
To begin with, the inner child is real. Not literally. Nor physically. But figuratively, metaphorically real. It is–like complexes(link is external) in general–a psychological or phenomenological reality, and an extraordinarily powerful one at that. Indeed, most mental disorders and destructive behavior patterns are, as Freud first intimated, more or less related to this unconscious part of ourselves.
At least in the sort of psychotherapy I practice, the adult part of the personality learns (and this, like much of therapy, is a learning process) to relate to the inner child exactly as a good parent relates to a flesh-and-blood child, providing discipline, limits, boundaries and structure. These are all–along with support, nurturance, and acceptance–indispensable elements of loving and living with any child, whether metaphorical or actual. By initiating and maintaining an ongoing dialogue between the two, a reconciliation between inner child and mature adult can be reached. A new, mutually beneficial, cooperative, symbiotic relationship can be created in which the sometimes conflicting needs of both the adult self and inner child can be creatively satisfied.
Has your adult self spent time with your inner child today?
If you feel uncomfortable when it comes to your inner child, try this: In thoughts hug yourself as a little one year old, don’t let go until you and little you feel better. Love is all we need.