I do envy you

envy

We all know this feeling. Envy. It’s when your stomach starts rebelling against something and you get a pang in your heart! (At least you think it is your heart but in reality it is really not)

It’s the feeling when you see someone doing something you also dreamed of for a while (or forever) it’s the moment you see how your friend packs her suitcase for a month in Australia, or it’s the moment you see how your creative friend is breathing art to life, art you also do know cause it’s art that comes from heart. And you have a heart with lots of dreams and wishes and art too.

It’s the moment you talk to yourself like you are no one because you see how others have finished some project they love, and you just started out with yours, maybe yours was a „failure“ anyway. It’s when you see the newly wed couple who loves each other from the bottom of their hearts and you feel so fucking lonely because well there’s not much that waits at your home, except for a broken toaster.

It’s the moment you see brave women doing brave things. It’s when you see your ex boyfriend moving on and having a great new life with his new girlfriend. It’s when your formerly co-student is on his way to a great and delicious career and goes to work for freaking google. It’s when you see bloggers collaborating with brands you adore too. Maybe it’s even when you’re in the changing room and all you see is skinny women and you yourself want to look like this too. 

In these times where social media is at a very unhealthy point infusing and confusing our lives, we sure start acting like little (or big) comparison people. They do have that. They look like this. But we always only see part of their journey. We have no idea how they feel when they wake up in the morning. We have no idea if they feel liberated by their art they create. We have no idea if their girlfriend appreciates all of their beings or if they just rush in need to be someone, not from a place of love, but from a place of fear.

We have no idea if the avocado tastes as good as it looks with the insta filter. We have no plan about their feelings on this or that. We only see results, pictures, videos, an end product. We sometimes tend to glorify people and think they’re perfect, they’re flawless and always in a happy place. But the truth is we are all human. And today I decide to feel envy, because it is what I feel. I decide to be sad because I think I am a no one and you are the greatest because you may just have finished a project.

Sometimes we just need to allow ourselves to sit with our feelings and let them out. With love and consciousness.

Today I am here to say I fucking envy you and I say this out of a place of love and respect. Because I honor you, I admire your work and I feel empowered and at the same time disempowered by your beautiful work. And I’m sure that I can learn something from this feeling. It does not have to dim my own light only because you shine like a supernova.

Oldie but goldie, I know.

Comparison is the thief of joy!

Did you know that hundreds of people used to tell Elizabeth Gilbert that EAT, PRAY, LOVE was their fucking story as well? Yeah, maybe true… Ideas are flying around on this planet like tomatos on a tomato festival. It’s not important what we dream of (of course it is) but it is all about what we decide to do here. Elizabeth just decided to rock this fucking piece of autobiography. But so can you realize your own project. So can you help to lift up the world and empower people to live their truths. I honor you and I love you and today I envy you. I think I can move on tomorrow. 😉 This piece is for me and for someone special. I think she knows who she is :)!

so much love, D.

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2 comments

  1. „It does not have to dim my own light only because you shine like a supernova.“

    so true!!!

    so schön ehrlich!

    love you and shine on! 😀

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